Results tagged “love” from Sichernde Seele

I was watching an episode of Bones recently.  I was already amazed to see Cyndi Lauper in it as she is one of my very favorite artists.  Then the song started.  The minute I heard the opening line, I knew I was going to be hooked. 

I think I found my Deployment Song this time.  Of course, we'll always have "Where'd You Go" by Fort Minor, but this one is especially poignant because this time, I've got no chance of being in the same place. 


"Fearless"                                 

Sometimes I'm afraid when you go
Sometimes I'm afraid when you come home
Underneath it all ...
I think I'm afraid when there's nothing wrong.

But if I was fearless ...
Could I be your reckless friend
And if I was helpless ...
Could you be the one comes rushing in.

There's something that I never told
When I find myself slipping off of my pedestal
I'm a fierce believer afraid to fall.

But if I was fearless ...
Could I be your reckless friend
And if I was helpless ...
Could you be the one comes rushing in.

Sometimes I'm afraid of the dark
I can't find the light in my heart
I can see my hand pushing away
Hard as I can

But if I was fearless ...
Could I be your wreckless friend
And if I was helpless ...
Could be the one comes rushing in.

Sometimes I'm afraid when you go ...

So, as I'm standing at my sink washing dishes today, I had a rather deep intrusion into my psyche that I found a little interesting. 

You see, I was irritated with myself because I'd left this plate with the crumbs from my cheese & crackers lunch yesterday.  Time slipped away from me and I was rallying the troops to get dressed for a dinner party. 

It's worth noting here that the temperature has dropped into the 30's & 40's and Max was pretty sure he was walking out of the house in board shorts, a t-shirt & a scarf.  That held me up for a little longer than usual.

So my own rule of "RINSE IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!" got thrown right out the window and I find myself at my sink scrubbing at some dried baby swiss on the knife.  I'm a little bent out of shape with myself. 

As I get further into the dishes I also am quite happy to see that soaking the Cuisinart Sauce Pan with Marshmallowy Goodness inside worked like a charm.  I love my cookware!!! 

Another note: Yesterday I made Kris some Crunch Berries Marshmallow Treats.

It comes pretty suddenly to me that as much as I complain about Kris' need for perfection, I do find myself more and more with an urge to don an apron and flit about the house whilst I listen to music.  Occasionally taking a time out for some Rock Band or Guitar Hero. 

This is in such a stark contrast to almost 10 years ago when I had a friend come clean my house because I had had surgery.  I think we almost lost her in my laundry room.   Des, I will never forget that!!! 

I'm currently in some, hmm...negotiations...with Madison's teacher about some missing work.  She asked me to look here at home.  I wanted to invite her to my house.  There isn't anything that's not organized.  I mean, my husband would probably complain that my Tetris skills with my camera/computer drawer is lacking, but seriously, there is no chance that there is anywhere to misplace random homework.

I have one "junk" drawer.  It's quite neatly organized. 

I'm not sure what happened, but I guess if I'm holding myself to a higher standard, that's a good thing.  On that note, I really must be getting back to cleaning up.  I still need to fix the bathroom after the whirlwind of 5 people getting ready for family portraits blew through. 

I'll leave you with what I told my husband last night.  I think it sums up who I am these days perfectly. 

On Sunday, we gained a fuzzy critter for three days.  During the three days that she spent here, we discovered that Loki is going to make a great Papa some day. 

Today I'm inspired by Mr. Jason Mraz.  Thank you, sir!

I've reached the 5 week mark of The Broken Foot Debacle.  Antsy doesn't begin to describe my state of mind.  Today, I finally put the crutches in the closet and set about getting my life back.  It hurts like hell to walk on it, but I just can't sit here and stare at the computer, walls or TV anymore. 

Along with all this navel gazing, I've been going through some stuff.  I've come to a point in my life where I just want peace.  Not silence.  I like noise.  For instance:

• Music
• Kids laughing
• My silly dog dreaming
• I love yous
• Talking till all hours about philosophy

Lately, I haven't been enjoying these sounds.  Why?  Because they haven't been there!!!  Instead, we've had a smattering of:

• People stalking through the house with iPods on
• Kids arguing and teenagers snarking
  
• My silly dog barking at me because he needs out and I can't take him
• I love you...but you're driving me insanes
• Arguing till all hours about ridiculous, unimportant crap

Here's the thing.  I'm 34.  I have 3 children that are teenager, almost teenager and can-you-stop-aging-right-now-please (10).

I've done the "young" marriage.  I've done the back and forth and misunderstood and reading into something you did NOT say.  I don't want to do it anymore.  I'm too old for drama and crap.  I actually said "I don't need to be understood by you or anyone else.  I won't fight to be understood.  I need no vindication.  I KNOW I'm amazing.  What's YOUR malfunction??"

So, how do you deal with a situation you totally walked into?  I married a "newbie", so why do I find myself with the lack of patience to get through the beginning? I just want to jump ahead to the part I should be at. 

God love him.  He stepped into a full house.  I just can't help but throw my hands up and say "You were warned".  I realize my intolerance is my own problem, but I've got three kids to figure out.  My plate is full!

Until all of this sorts itself out, I think I'll sit here and have a glass of Marzemino, listen to some G&R and continue to try and decode the teenager.  And that's a whole new post.