Recently in Deployment Category

I was watching an episode of Bones recently.  I was already amazed to see Cyndi Lauper in it as she is one of my very favorite artists.  Then the song started.  The minute I heard the opening line, I knew I was going to be hooked. 

I think I found my Deployment Song this time.  Of course, we'll always have "Where'd You Go" by Fort Minor, but this one is especially poignant because this time, I've got no chance of being in the same place. 


"Fearless"                                 

Sometimes I'm afraid when you go
Sometimes I'm afraid when you come home
Underneath it all ...
I think I'm afraid when there's nothing wrong.

But if I was fearless ...
Could I be your reckless friend
And if I was helpless ...
Could you be the one comes rushing in.

There's something that I never told
When I find myself slipping off of my pedestal
I'm a fierce believer afraid to fall.

But if I was fearless ...
Could I be your reckless friend
And if I was helpless ...
Could you be the one comes rushing in.

Sometimes I'm afraid of the dark
I can't find the light in my heart
I can see my hand pushing away
Hard as I can

But if I was fearless ...
Could I be your wreckless friend
And if I was helpless ...
Could be the one comes rushing in.

Sometimes I'm afraid when you go ...

I'm extremely emotional today.  I'm ready.  I'm not ready.  I'm fine.  I feel like crap.  Need more time.  Wish that I could just get the "waiting" over with already.  Speak.  Don't speak.  Look at me like that.  Don't look at me like that.  I was there before, I should be there now, I should be here now.  

I'm weak, I'm strong.  I'm homesick and I don't want to leave home.  I am the cheerleader, the nurse, the midnight watch.  I am the proud, the loud and the brave.  I am the silent, the nervous & afraid.  I am the teacher, the student, I take it all in.  I love, I sigh, I pray, I sing. 

We're holding watch, we're sounding off.  See you soon, not soon enough. 

I am all of these things.  I am a DAMN Proud Army Wife, Mother, Daughter & Friend.  Thank your soldiers today!!!! 

Had our portraits done professionally a few weeks ago.  I love taking pictures, but it's hard for me to get myself in the shot with the rest of my lovely family.

The local portrait studio on post sounded like a great plan! 

She was wonderful with the dog & the kids.  She also kind of let us say what type of poses we were looking for.  With photographers as subjects, it can sometimes be hard.  The subject has an idea of what they want it to look like, but the photographer often has a completely different vision. 

Breanna was AMAZING at listening to what we wanted to do and her patience with the small critters & Loki was outstanding.

If you are in the Bamberg area, go see her! 

Dearest Kris,

     You will be missed, loved & waited for each & every day.  Come home safely to our home.  We'll leave the light on for ya!

                                                         Love,
                                                            Holly

Last night, as I crunched over the leaf littered sidewalk with my footsteps over brittle leaves echoing in the cold, I realized it was awfully symbolic of things to come. 

This year, I did not get a picture of all three of my kids in costume together. 

This year, I did not have to watch three different directions while Trick or Treating. 

This year, I had to catch as catch can just to see them all. 

Where did the time go?  When did I transition from 3 little kids to 3 kids that are fighting their way to college??

Morgan was at a party and I saw her in passing a couple of times.  It was kind of like playing hide & seek all night.  "Honey, I saw blue hair...I'm gonna run get a few pictures of Morgan!"

Max is the only one I took Trick or Treating.  It was very strange not to be struggling to keep them all together.  It seems like only yesterday that I had Max in a stroller & was concerned about Madison tripping over his costume. 

Once upon a time, they would brave any weather for candy.  Last night Max says "Mom, I'm pretty much done.  It's too cold out here."  Really???  Really, Max?  Who ARE YOU??

When we got home, he proclaimed that I could pick out four pieces instead of three this year from his stash.  What a pal!

I found myself in a minefield of them recently and strongly considered just removing myself from the situations that seem to be creating them. 

I love my life.  I can right now name about 5 people that would drop everything and come running in the middle of the night if I needed it.  I have 4 that put up with my shit and unconditionally love me on a daily basis.  2 more that are always ready with a smile or an ear or a car.  Yes, these groups overlap and some belong to more than one group. 

I want for nothing.  Sure, I have dreams and hopes that I am still working on fulfilling, but I am in a great position to make them all reality.  I'm not saying every day is a perfect specimen of the American Dream, but it's pretty darn close. 

I have a massive family that never ceases to amaze me.  A husband that makes me feel like a beautiful princess when we aren't too busy to stop & smell the roses.  For the love of all that is good & crunchy...I have a dog that may as well speak English for as well as we communicate. 

And in my spare time, I get to spend some time on the stage.  WITH my kids.  It's good for my soul, I tell you!

Life, my friends, is outstanding. 

As with anything, there are certain challenges that one is faced with.  Let me see what my current occupation would read as on a resume':

Army Spouse Raising Teenage Girl, Tween Boy & Aspie Boy - Has EMT Certification But Currently Sharpens Skills in Pediatric & Veterinary Avenues. 

• Extensive Knowledge of Computers, Various Electronics, Light Home Construction/Repair, Hedgehogs & Cooking Without Burning Down The Kitchen
• Dabbles in Photography & Photo Editing
• Volunteers in the Community, Holds Position in Local Family Readiness Group
• Enjoys Singing & Acting with the Local Community Theater
• Tutor, Social Advisor & Life Coach
  

Note: Sometimes Spreads Self Too Thin

Oh, and while I'm doing all that, I try to have some semblance of a social life with both my local friends & keeping up with my friends and family back in the States. 

I do not have time to tiptoe around anyone.  Furthermore, I don't like tiptoeing when I don't even know why or around whom I am tiptoeing.  I spent enough time near land mines in Afghanistan.  I will not dodge invisible ones while I'm fighting the good fight on the homefront. 

If there is some issue to be addressed, address it head-on.  Just jump right in.  If you've spent more than 5 minutes around me, you might know I speak my mind.  Sure, I can be subtle when I need to.  I can even be downright professional.  But I don't ever sneak up on ya.  Please do me the courtesy of extending that to me. 

I have no problem jumping right into these eggshells and leaving a wake of Ham & Cheese Omelets behind me.  I will blow up the mines and watch the bridges burn.  Because I've got enough on my plate.  I don't need or desire the silent drama bullshit. 

On July 25th, 2009 - The world lost a Hero.  A Soldier.  A Marine.  A Son.  A Brother.  A Friend. 

Killed in Action in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, PFC Wayne Vincent gave his life in service to his country.  You, me, our fuzzy friends. 

I only had the pleasure of meeting Wayne in person 1 time.  He was a bright young man with a smile that lit up a room and is strikingly like his sister, Julia's.  But his light shone brightly through the words of his family and the shared pictures and updates on his accomplishments. 

Wayne, you will be forever missed and loved.  We thank you for now watching over us all.